Will there ever be a perfect time to have a baby?

I thought I still had time. I always thought there was going to be plenty of time way past my 30’s to have kids. Never has it ever crossed my mind that there would be a time before I hit 30 where I’d hear that I wouldn’t be able to have a baby.

These words struck me like lightning. I always wanted to have children at my own pace and just wanted to make sure that everything’s alright in order to have them, I was sent home with a tumor, a crazy painful journey ahead of me, and the wisdom that my body is unable to grow a baby(currently? Forever? Who knows..)

I went into the doctor’s office hopeful, and left with a bunch of insecurities and a lot of regrets. What if I waited on having a stable life, a comfortable financial situation, a big enough house and so on in order to bring another human being into this world so I can give it the best life possible only to end up having none of it all in the end? What if it’s too late? What if it’s never going to happen for me anymore? What if my life will go from “I still have time” to “I will get more info about pregnancies” to “it’s too late” in just a matter of weeks?

My mind is all over the place, and I’m blaming myself for waiting for the perfect time to have a baby, while I well realize now that there will never be a *perfect* time. 

xoxo

Prudence

ps: I am going to post a few more blogposts so you’re on track with the tumor health journey here on my blog as well.